Being declared the official "Armpit of America" by the venerable Washington Post might have prompted the residents of some towns to hang their head in collective shame, but Battle Mountain proved more resourceful: They got themselves a corporate sponsor. The Old Spice-backed Pit Festival, a three-day August affair in Elquist Park that attracts an estimated 3,500 people from Nevada and beyond, features sweat-centric activities like the Armpit Beauty Pageant, bed races, an Old Spice deodorant toss and a "sweat T-shirt" contest.

I say we should all attend this event next year. I have much prettier armpits that this er, woman.