2. I don't know how to tap dance.

3. I think it's ok to wear pink converse shoes with every outfit.

4. I mean, that doesn't mean that I do or anything, but if I did, it would be ok.

5. When I was in the second grade, there was a swinging door in my cafeteria.

6. Kids were always walking by and swinging it open from the other side.

7. My friends always said it was Freddy Krueger when we'd see the door (seemingly) swing by itself.

8. I didn't know who Freddy Krueger was, but of course I didn't want to appear less than cool, so I shuddered and laughed about it with them.

9. Then, one day I went to the video store with my parents and stumbled upon a Nightmare on Elm Street video box.

10. OH MY GOD, that's the guy that’s been at my school all this time?!?

11. It was the beginning of my life long fascination with horror films. and sleep monsters.

12. It was only a few years later that I discovered Hitchcock and learned a much different meaning of “terrifying”. and sleep-deprivation.

13. I went out with one of my teachers in high school.

14. Then again, with one of my professors my freshman year of college.

15. One of them still writes me poems.

16. Every Wednesday I go to a retirement home and read aloud and play checkers.

17. I also take Miss Maggie a bag of jellybeans.

18. Without fail, she asks if I’ve picked the black ones out.

19. I never forget to.

20. My dad took me to see Pink Floyd when I was 12.

21. I’ve never been the same since.

22. The only pieces of jewelry that I wear on a daily basis are my tongue ring and a piece of leather with a silver infinity symbol around my neck.

23. The necklace came from Roosevelt, this old Rastafarian that calls me karma's kid sister, or mary-with-unexpected-luck (he says it all one word).

24. I’m going to see Ziggy Marley on Valentine’s Day.

25. I’ve never had the chicken pox.

26. “Some days I miss you so much I’d jump off the roof of your office building just to catch a glimpse of you on the way down.”

27. I took bowling, golfing, rappelling, fencing, self-defense, and canoeing while I was an undergraduate.

28. I only needed to take two of them to fulfill my course requirements, but I couldn’t choose.

29. I ran away from home to Graceland when I was a sophomore in high school.

30. I wanted to be Michael Jackson for Halloween when I was five.

31. My mom tells me that I refused to take the costume off for four days.

32. She even let me wear it to school.

33. Thanks, mom.

34. Around that same time that, one of my mom’s hippy friends gave me a really shiny button said “I Gave Myself to Jesus, but Now He Never Calls”.

35. I adored it.

36. I wore it ALL the time.

37. To this day, I keep it in my Box O Lovies.

38. I think it would be really comical to see a small child wearing that pin. I saw a little girl yesterday wearing a shirt that said “What Weapons of Mass Destruction?”

39. I gave her a thumbs-up.

40. She grinned at me.

41. I have a cat that is entranced with the opening whistling on Andy Griffith.

42. She comes running to stand in front of the television when she hears it.

43. No matter how many times I’ve seen her do it, it still cracks me up.

44. When I eat pasta, the sauce has to be separate from the noodles.

45. I twirl the noodles around my fork, then dip them in the sauce.

46. I can’t eat it if it’s already mixed.

47. Same with salads and salad dressing.

48. I hate that about myself.

49. I locked myself in the attic to read the fifth Harry Potter book.

50. I didn’t come down for two days.

51. It was definitely a religious experience.

52. Sometimes, “I feel like a Cyclops with two eyes, like an anorexic with three mouths, like a shark with plastic vampire teeth, like I’m the executioner’s fingernail trying to reason with the hand.”

53. I’m not one of those girls that think that grown women should never wear pigtails.

54. My roommate is having a conversation with someone and I just heard her say, “My father’s name is Raymond and he HATES when people call him `Ray`.”

55. I shouted, “If I were him, I’d yell MOND mother fucker, MOND!!”

56. She’s still glowering at me.

57. I am wearing a shirt with this picture of Yanni on it.

58. Serious.

59. This is the bottom of my favorite pair of shoes.

60. I think it’s beautiful.

61. This is the bag that I’m using this week,

62. but this is my favorite bag right now.

63. I am drinking “Snowman Soup”.

64. It’s hot chocolate, snowballs (marshmallows!), kisses (semi-sweet chocolate chips), and a candy cane stir.

65. I love watching the candy cane melt.

66. I don’t eat candy canes otherwise.

67. This always makes me laugh.

68. It makes me really sad to walk past parks and see that there’s nobody in them.

69. My first roommate ever was a huge cokehead.

70. After I typed the word “cokehead”, it just looked misspelled, so I actually looked it up.

71. For some reason, seeing the pronunciation and definition made me giggle.

72. k k h d - coke•head - Slang A heavy user of cocaine.

73. Anyway, getting back to the point, she was very fond of cocaine and for a brief time, so was I.

74. We used to put our bathing suits on and sit in the bathtub for hours doing lines.

75. I quickly grew out of that particular phase.

76. You live, you learn.

77. “I’m a narcissist trapped in the third person.

78. My heart hangs in my chest like a Salem witch.

79. My heart is a street so dark nymphomaniacs are afraid to kiss.”

80. I type with two fingers.

81. I’m pretty fast, considering.

82. Sometimes, after I finish an amazing book, I’ll order copies and have them sent to all of my friends.

83. If they already have a copy, it’s their duty to give it to someone that doesn’t.

84. I sent my sister sand from every beach I went to last year.

85. My great grandfather’s name was Green Berry.

86. I have days when I can only listen to The Cure.

87. Those days only come around every blue moon.

88. I love/hate Vivaldi.

89. New Orleans is a great love of my life.

90. I was in a department store the other day and saw a huge ad with a friend of mine from middle school.

91. His grandparents are friends with my grandparents and I hear news about him every now and then.

92. Last I heard he was doing a “little modeling”.

93. Wow. Yeah. He did not look like that the last time I saw him.

94. I am obsessed with lip gloss.

95. My favorite right now is this Tootsie Roll™ flavored stuff.

96. I laugh so hard that my face hurts. A lot.

97. My best friend and I have parties in bed sometimes.

98. Just me, her, New Year’s tiaras, a pitcher of mimosas, and a pack of smokes.

99. It’s the only time I don’t mind smoking indoors.

100. Bars with really dim lights and red candles are my favorites.

P.S. “…never neglect the first straw, because no one ever talks about the first straw, it’s always the last straw that gets all the attention, but by then it’s way too late.”